Tumbrella

Travelling. It’s meant to be the time of your life – seeing the best the planet has to offer without a care in the world. And more often than not, travelling with a like-minded mate makes a great experience even better.

Sometimes however, you get lumbered with a road buddy who simply puts a downer on the whole trip. Whether they’re a bit strange, embarrassing or just pure annoying, there’s nothing worse than not enjoying your travels because every time your “mate” opens their mouth, your blood starts to boil.

You’ve got just one option – ditch ‘em. It may hurt, but sometimes it’s just got to be done.

Luckily, I’ve only been forced into action twice in my travels. Neither time was pleasant, but each time it was necessary and saved an awesome trip that had been in freefall.

But despite no regrets, I still shudder at the memory of leaving my sombre-looking old schoolmate at a Spanish train station after persuading him we wanted different things and it was only fair to both of us to temporarily split paths.

And I still cringe at the thought of being busted by one hooker-friendly traveller, who’d clung on after sharing a cab, after he caught me sneaking out of our Havana hostel room at 5am, backpack in tow.

So proceed with caution. But in case you have no options left, here are some of the classic ditching techniques. Any sound familiar?

1. Honesty
The most painful but effective method. Simply be straight, tell them it’s not working and go your own way.

Pros: It’s quick and clean and they’ll respect you for being upfront. Plus, after being so blunt it’s unlikely they’ll want to continue travelling with you either.

Cons: If it’s an old mate, and they don’t understand that perhaps you’ve just spent too much time together, it could have long-term implications for your friendship.

2. The all-out lie
You’re desperate to get rid, but bottle out from owning up. Invent a story that means you have to head somewhere else. Now. Alone. Long-lost or visiting family normally works a treat.

Pros: A swift break with no ill feelings.

Cons: A shaky story could all-too-easily break down under questioning, with highly embarrassing consequences that will always leave you looking like the bad guy.

3. The gentle lie
Okay you want shot, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings and don’t have the guts to lie too brazenly. It’s time for the classic diversion tactic. Figure out your road buddy’s must-do itinerary and draw up your own incompatible one and explain how you just have to part ways for a while. After all, you both owe it to yourselves to make the most of your trip of a lifetime.

Pros: Everyone’s a winner.

Cons: Misjudge what they want and you could find they still tag along with you, only now you’re going to places you weren’t that bothered about in the first place and having to feign huge enthusiasm for them.

4. The magic act
A high risk manoeuvre which is brilliant for its simplicity. Timing is everything with this tactic, the result of which will either be humiliating for you or for them. Simply pack up your stuff and disappear while they’re asleep or out.

Pros: There’s a genuine buzz from doing a runner.

Cons: Getting caught in the act could be highly embarrassing. Make sure you have a cover story at the ready (see the all-out lie).